Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
Avril Lavigne is on Lucky magazine this month, looking gorgeous as ever. I love the little pink streak(s), very subtle but I'd love to do that to my hair. I wear black nail polish most of the time, sometimes I'll leave it off if I can't maintain it, but I got the tip from Avril actually to use a black Sharpie to touch up. Of course it isn't "permanent" on nails but for an evening out if you don't have time to redo your nails, it definitely does the trick.
I'm totally not a Shia LaBeouf fan so I didn't watch SNL from the beginning tonight. I never watch it unless there's someone I really like on it. I turned it on right when they were doing "The Dakota Fanning Show" and Avril Lavigne actually had a part in the skit! It was really short but she did good. She played Dakota's little sister. Yay! I think Avril's singing next. They just showed her standing in front of her microphone like she's waiting for commercials to be over. She looked antsy or nervous or something. I imagine the show being LIVE puts some huge pressure on. Eeewww the background singers sound AWFUL! It only sounds good when she's singing alone, the background singers are totally flat or something. Her band isn't even there, they're totally different people. That's probably why, they're all OLD compared to her. Okay I had to change the channel, it was THAT bad. Background singers can really screw up a good thing.
OMG SHE'S ON AGAIN! This is a new song too. It's pretty good. She doesn't sing with a lot of ...emotion. But once again, the background singers are kinda flat. Just like Girlfriend there's a really bad part in this song, that just sounds stupid and it could have done without. At the end of the song she made a little annoyed/thank god it's over look. She's definitely not your typical performer. Maybe she knows her background singers and SNL band suck so she's nervous. Like "oh god we suck and it's on LIVE TV". I wonder where her band is.
And it's over. Thank god. That's why I hate SNL. It takes really awsome people and makes them look really really bad.
I love Stacy London & Clinton Kelly (sp's?) on What Not To Wear. They just had on a behind the scenes episode and they are so funny. I always wondered about Stacy's gray streak in her hair, like was that some sort of style thing or what? It makes her look much older when it shows and you never knew what was up with it because sometimes it was there and sometimes it wasn't. Luckly I'm not the only one wondering and she said on this show that she's had it since she was 11 or 12! That sucks! Can you imagine having a grey streak in elementary school? I wonder why that happened, though it could have easily been dyed all/most of her life until she was older and it wasn't like a weird thing. I don't know why anyone would wonder if Stacy & Clinton are an "item," Clinton is so gay, either he isn't comfortable telling the world or he hasn't come out of the closet. Maybe his parents are old school so he's keeping it from them, or maybe he's telling himself he isn't but ... he totally is. He's girly, not because he likes fashion and shopping and everything, but because he has...feminine qualities *wink* he's totally funny but come on, THE WORLD WILL UNDERSTAND, in fact they'll probably like him better for it.
My fittings came in from Gaynor Minden today: 8.5M/4-221-22. I don't know what 4-221-22 refers to but I should have my pointe shoes next week provided they get them out quickly. They said when I'm up on pointe (...uh huh) I "should be able to pinch a 1/4in at the top of the heel." Hopefully this pair will just fit and that will be that.
I watch Intervention every week on A&E, it's just interesting. It's mostly drugs and alcohol. It drives me nuts because like tonight the mother's crying through the whole thing and they all sat at the dinner table and told him "what he's doing to himself" and it's such bullshit because like that ever works. It just pisses the person off and they walk out, go home whatever. All this woman does is cry. Every scene she's in she's crying. Apparently the guy's seen the show, that's how he knows what's gonna happen. He took off his microphone and told the producer he wouldn't have any part of it. I'd be like I don't want to hear what you have to say, I'll just go to get away from you guys. I wouldn't sit to hear all that shit. OMG he just went out the window and took off running. It's definitely a different episode than most others. The police are present at this one. They caught him...nice try heh. It took the police convincing him to get him to go to rehab. He acts like he doesn't know why he's even in rehab. He's probably just high. I think this is the only one I've ever seen (again) where they just absolutely did not get any better or get SOMETHING out of rehab. Of course he's bipolar so that's not unheard of since he won't take time to get on proper meds.
I've lost weight and I don't know how. I don't feel like I always have to eat, in fact I'm not usually in the mood to eat. I haven't purchased rice cakes at the store recently which is probably part of it. I can eat two whole bags in one sitting (1230 cals). I don't, but I can. I've done it before. I did get goldfish today but one day won't kill me. I want to watch the New York City Ballet Workout 2 just to see if it's something I can do, I have it but have never watched it. I just assumed it would be too hard. The first DVD is pretty boring and it gets old real quick. I'm really not into routine class exercise. It's really boring. I used to have a stationary bike and I could read while I was on it but my arms would get tired holding the book because it was a recumbant bike and there was no room for a book to sit or anything. I read through all the Harry Potter books, hardbound, on that thing, more than once. I gave it to my sister because it turned into a place to lay my clothes and whatever needed a place to lay.
I'm going to go find something hot to eat. I haven't eaten hot food in a week or better.
[ONLY 4 MORE DAYS UNTIL AVRIL LAVIGNE'S NEW CD COMES OUT! DON'T FORGET TO CATCH SNL SATURDAY NIGHT!]
So yes, I broke down and ordered professional pointe shoes, ribbons & elastics. Gaynor Minden pointe shoes to be exact. Very little breaking in and they supposedly maintain their shape, no need to glue & re-harden them. No need to know what your size is, they have a whole in-depth system using graphed measurments of both feet, photos top and side, and all sorts of other preferences you can choose. It's very exciting. I want to like frame them or something ;-) They may be in next week, I'm not positive, but I put a rush on the shipping. They just have to fit them first.
I found another outfit (skirt & top) for the wedding, cross your fingers. All I'd have to do is go pick out some shoes, which isn't much easier. I hate buying shoes almost more than I hate buying clothes.
My whole body hurts I think just from the little bit of working out that I've done the past two days. I feel like I have the flue because I'm stretching my back and shoulders and everything all the time but it totally takes all sorts of energy out of me to stretch, I almost black out for a second like the blood's rushing to my head or something. I haven't been craving food like I was except today, all I have to eat are zone bars so I don't really feel like I've eaten and I keep wanting to go eat. This dancer's diet book I just bought says if you've eaten a "normal" meal and feel a need to eat in less than 2-3 hours, it's all just in your head, not in those words exactly but I think if I eat every 3 hours, when I'm not at work, I feel like I'm stuffing my face. Even that sometimes seems excessive though depending on what I've eaten. I guess if my stomach is grumbling after just two hours it's my head telling it to do that and I should ignore it? ;-)
The first few words my mother said to me when they got back from Arizona were mean and uncalled for. She expects too much of people. Eight minutes after she told me they were home she came back angry that I hadn't asked them how their trip was yet, like the fact that I've told her to her face that I don't like her, that she'll never change, all the specific reasons I'm angry (after which she denies being a party to any of it, I don't know what i'm talking about blah blah blah) she thinks I give a shit how her vacation went. If yelling at me makes her feel better, fine, whatever but she's kidding herself if she actually expects that from me. I've never asked her how her vactions went, why would I start now?? I was expecting her to yell at me or us all day and when my sister returned from a client's house she let us have it and that was it for me. I've just had it. It's such bull shit, she's not herself if she doesn't pick a fight every now and then. I was already terribly depressed.
I think about death a lot. I've only ever considered death in a "when is my time coming" and "I wish it would come NOW" sense. I've never seriously considered bringing it upon myself. There are a lot of reasons for that, but death and what relief that would bring is constantly on my mind. The past 24 hours have been difficult. My sister and I (and the rest of my family) don't really talk about things like my mother picking fights. I stop functioning very efficiently and I'm on the verge of tears for hours and my sister and I are alone in the same room and we say nothing about it. I came home from work, said hi to my dad, went straight to my room and sat in silence on my bed for three hours. I don't know what to do with myself. Death beckons me. I finally turned on Little People Big World and the dad on the show is like depressed and avoiding the croud the last day of pumpkin season and said the fog was gone from the farm but it's moved into his head. I don't think I feel the snow right now. I wish I didn't want food as usual but this time in more of a waste away sort of way. I'm not going out there until everyone's gone to bed but I'm not hungry so it's fine right now.
I got the "Silk & Sequin Cami" pictured in a previous entry and it's really gross on. I'm convinced designers only make clothes for flat-chested people. I'm an 'A' and it really seems too big for the cami and the dresses that I've had and it's just ridiculous. A small corset wasn't small enough to do anything. My waist was the same size with it as it was without so I think I won't torture myself when the evening will alreay bee seriously uncomfortable.
I like to collect things. I have a left-handed violin, a right-handed electric violin, an electric Fender guitar and an amp, a flute, and I recently acquired a new pair of Capizio demi-soft pointe shoes (the demi-soft is a "pre-pointe" pointe shoe). That's just the stuff I don't actively use. They're beautiful instruments and I'm just so excited for the pointe shoes to come in. I've always wanted a pair, just to have. When I was little I owned tap shoes and ballet shoes (and did recitals) but threw them away years ago when they meant very little to me. I'd like to eventually get a pair of professional pointe shoes but they're expensive so those will wait. I wish I played the instruments and did ballet professionally but they're still cool to me.
My taxes are not started and I didn't finish balancing my checkbook last night. It's so overwhelming and it's never been a difficult task. I used to balance my checkbook monthly and get my taxes done way in advance but this year it's just been so difficult.
I wonder if my parents have gone to bed yet and I wonder if I'm going to get yelled at tomorrow for staying in my room all evening.
Double click any word on this page for a definition.
Using Firefox? Enable definitions by downloading the extension. Sorry, this feature does not currently work in Opera or Safari.
So yes, I broke down and ordered professional pointe shoes, ribbons & elastics.