Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
I'm not sure whether to sleep because I'm tired and...sad or upset or something, or stay up and exercise half-heartedly because I don't have much energy and aren't really wanting to function but I'm FAT and I can't stop eating. Last night after buying, and later ingesting, like a 1 lb. bag of red vines I went out and had Baja Fresh, and then a couple of apples and a couple of sodas.
fuuuuuck! i'm so unhappy. It is officially Christmas Eve. My cousin's present never got here so i hadto pick up a gift certificate instead. We got to close early Friday so that was nice, even though i spent the evening EATING! I had Baja Fresh today and that was disappointing. Then I had a few pieces of chocolate my parent had purchased and now I'm eating all this bread that I bought and it's not even very good. I don't know what's come over me. I'm not hungry and the food I'm eating isn't exactly good. I'll probably stay up all night cleaning my room so I can sit in here most of the time everyone's here, whenever they're just "mingling." I feel fat & disgusting. Anyhow...I guess I'll work on the site or something. I'm really not in the mood to do anything since I can't take all that food back.
(ana trigger) I ate too much today. I'm afraid to even add it up. I've been staying anywhere between 250 and 1300 depending on the day but I had all this food around today, I went to the store and everything just looked so much better than it actually was. I even bought a Potato Rosemary loaf which has a strong taste of olive oil. 7.5x60x1.5+140+60+160+85+220+300+watermelon+2apples= 1640+2apples+watermelon. Hmm that frightens me. Luckly, the bread wasn't that good, I had KitKats which my father was good enough to finish and the Starburst I have weren't good, gross tropical flavors. In fact I had four and then had four more later just because I couldn't NOT eat them. I think I'll just run an throw everything away, and maybe see if there's a soda (+140) in the garage. Caffeine+exercise+1 day with less junk food available will hopefully bring me back to whatever weight I was when I woke up this morning. It's not that I'm hungry or that when I'm hungry I'm particularly uncomfortable, I'm not dizzy, I'm not weak even though I've been exercising and have very sore muscles, I am just that way.
Everything is in CHAOS!!! Thursday, good, fine. My therapist came in to see me after she had her baby the week before, great, I felt so relieved. Friday, everything went to hell. I was SO COLD during the day, being at work was unbearable. I was allowed to leave around 2:30 or 3:00 luckly. That evening all of our plumbing stopped working. Completely. And my dad told me we may not be able to get anyone out until Monday morning. Friday night I was on my laptop, working, everything was fine. I woke up Saturday afternoon and my laptop harddrive was TICKING and would not boot. The plumber said between 1pm & 3pm he'd be here. Then, oh, between 1pm & 5pm. Then, well Sunday between 8am & 11am. We called some else. After 5pm another plumber came, couldn't find the problem, started digging up our front lawn to find the pipes. Sunday we find out the roots of our Juniper tree have grown into the pipes, we can't just remove them, too much damage. Monday afternoon they don't have the right truck so they can't finish puting the new pipes in. (??) Supposedly tuesday they'll be fixed. Oh and Sunday I felt like I could NOT STOP EATING. I ended up having over 2000 calories, and no, I don't purge. I've been sitting with that and the 1400 or so I had today just ready to scream. My laptop won't work without a new harddrive and my server is totally screwed up due to either IE 7.0 or PHP 5 installations. It has taken me MANY hours to get ds_loryann to just look the way it's supposed to. It doesn't even have any Joomla modules in it. I opted for SharePoint Designer (Beta) and even with that, I had to make all fixes via code. That program is completely pointless. Well, since I have to be out of the shower by 8am tomorrow, before they turn the water off to finish the pipes, I have to actually sleep. Lots of exercising will be happening in the next 45 minutes so I'll leave you. I think I might find some interest in selling Joomla templates. It might even be worth learning the back-end layout. I need to MAKE MORE MONEY!!! I'm totally broke all the time, Christmas is killing me. I'm not even looking forward to it. But then, what's new.
okay so I'm not eating much, until today, I'm bothered about something and physically miserable and it was just time. At work I'm either really hot when the air is off because I have my heater on for when it's on, or the air is pumping so I'm freezing even though I have four layers on and a heater going. It's back & forth all day long, hot cold hotcoldhotcold! It makes me exhausted. I'm miserable when I'm cold because I'm SO COLD, but I don't want to be fat, or feel fat, or SEE FAT! Do I eat to bring up my mood or do I not eat to BRING UP MY MOOD??? It's a different "miserable" and a different "mood" depending on what the situation is. I'd much prefer to not eat but no one understands the temperature thing or how horrible it feels. So I just suffer all day long. Blah.
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