Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
i've never been worried about anyone before...I'm so worried I can't think straight. My therapist had her baby, or at least was going to have her baby as of 11:00 Wednesday evening. I know it's only Sunday but I'm sor worried, I don't when, or if, I'll see her again. I wish she'd call me because I can't call her, not for another couple of days at least. I want to SO BAD, just so I know she's okay. If she was just on vacation or something I don't think I'd be so worried but what if there was a problem? I feel like I'm losing my mind. I've never worried about anyone before.
I've watched this documentary several times, taped it, I'm so grateful that it was made. I related so much with Brittany in this documentary because my mother dieted so much when I young, my sister was a stick, and I spent high school overweight to the point of obesity my senior year. On top of underlying trauma, I have always felt like if I wasn't thin I was completely worthless and disgusting. I wish Brittany had done the Subject Interview like the others. The way the documentary ended and the way her mother treated food, I think she needed to stay most out of everyone...
I just posted this whole long entry and I hit save and the whole thing disappeared. fuck...what is that fucking point???!! I am so unhappy!!! Why is everything so difficult?!?!?!?! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just don't sleep anymore. I don't know why it's such an issue. I used to eat too much and sleep anyhow, but now I eat anything (always more than 1000 cals though it seems) and I might get an hour of sleep. I'm eating, I'm taking my vitamins and meds, what's missing?
In an email to my sister that became something I could never send her & has transitioned to a journal entry when I decided that, I have written the following...
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