Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
One month and two days of sobriety. Oh the things that make me bleed. A half empty cup of empathy, a half filled cup of sorrow. A bowl of no tomorrows. And on the other hand, a shot glass full of some red liquid. What is it? Might I dare suggest? Thick and bloody-bloody red. Ten seconds of pain and then no more. What do I hate you for? You will harm me never more. Now a bandage hides the wound. This is our little secret. Do you swear to keep your promise? Do you swear? Pinky swear? This pain I can no longer bare. Stop the questions-endless questions. None answerable. Do you dare ask another? I double dare you mother. Ask another. Such serenity to the naked eye. Deep down inside I live a lie. Some days I hope to die. I will not shed a tear and cry. Solitary in this void. So alone and sad. Eternally grand.
One month and two days of sobriety.
Oh the things that make me bleed.
A half empty cup of empathy,
a half filled cup of sorrow.
A bowl of no tomorrows.
And on the other hand,
a shot glass full of some red liquid.
What is it?
Might I dare suggest?
Thick and bloody-bloody red.
Ten seconds of pain and then no more.
What do I hate you for?
You will harm me never more.
Now a bandage hides the wound.
This is our little secret.
Do you swear to keep your promise?
Do you swear?
Pinky swear?
This pain I can no longer bare.
Stop the questions-endless questions.
None answerable.
Do you dare ask another?
I double dare you mother.
Ask another.
Such serenity to the naked eye.
Deep down inside I live a lie.
Some days I hope to die.
I will not shed a tear and cry.
Solitary in this void.
So alone and sad.
Eternally grand.
Sometimes I wonder if they really understand what we go through-the different tools we use to tear ourselves apart. I do it to keep my mind from racing. It races so far down into Hell and I just want to slit my wrists. Why do you do it? Sometimes I wonder if even my therapist understands. She had this perfect life. She can't relate to me. She's never cut herself just to make sure blood's still flowing through her veins. I can tell sometimes that she has no idea what I'm going through. My one friend told me yesterday that I should go on a road trip with my friends over my five week winter break. I couldn't bare to tell her that she is my only friend.
This has been the weekend from hell. Spending this much time with my parents is making me suicidal. If I could cut I would and then it wouldn't get so bad but there's nothing to cut with. Trust me-I've looked.
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