Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
it's not the blood that makes me cut
it's not that i'm a total nut
it's not the pain of cutting through
that makes me want to worry you
i'm not quite sure i know myself
i know it's not that little elf
telling me to draw the blood
and pour the sorrow like a flood
sometimes i worry about me
but then i begin to see
that i cut to be unique
trying to change my mind's physique
searching for my independence
changing to prevent your presence
within my heart, body, soul
i will finally become whole.
Today has been hell even though I had the day off. I've been secretive and conniving. I spent the afternoon trying to hide my poetry from a sister who wasn't making that much of an effort to hid hers from me. I wasn't looking but she didn't seem to care. And I was sitting here closing my computer every time she walked by and closing my book every time she looked up. Oh well though. I got on AOL today and I feel much better. I've had my fix. But then, this afternoon my mother called Dr. Bloom and told us all that she had to call the office. We all knew who she was calling yet she lied to us.
suicide was on my mind today
there's nothing anyone can say
to make me think of other things
i pray to god to give me wings
to take me to the sky so high
out of this life i want to fly
i'd rather sit in Hell and fry
than go on living endless fears
with pleas that no one hears
with dreams unsupported
and hopes unreported
no longer can i see a future
my heart needs a bandage
my mind needs repair
i've lost all grip of reality
my lungs no longer take in air.
an anxiety ridden mind it is
pretty bright but not a wiz
full of anger, hatred, guilt
a tower of courage I have built
it rises tall but sits so thin
one wrong move and I begin
to lose my mind and courage full
there goes that last light of control
my family must not count on me
i won't count on myself you see
my mind is but a tangled web
the seas of life no longer ebb
my thoughts are filled with empty pain
on my heart my mind does rain
human folly reigns in me
i am not who you think you see.
I sit here alone listening to Metallica S&M on my laptop which has been my savior. And I just found out how to edit the play list. Awesome. Hero of the Day is the only thing on the play list. My parents and sister went back to Epcot. I don't know why anyone would want to go back there. It is a terrible place and it feels like a great big history lesson. The rides are slow moving and boring. I have a blister on my heal from my shoe. Luckily though tomorrow is our day to do anything. I feel as though I won't make it through the week.
Double click any word on this page for a definition.
Using Firefox? Enable definitions by downloading the extension. Sorry, this feature does not currently work in Opera or Safari.
