Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
flowery visions dance in my head
though all of the flowers are mysteriously dead
the beautiful colors have withered away
of that i have nothing more to say.
"she cuts her wrists" she says to the doctor
"of this i can be sure
i saw them as she wandered out
i will make her cut no more."
you think you are so clever
with a plan so wise and sweet
i will end my life one day
i've planned it out so neat.
you ask me if i'd tell you
if ever something was wrong
i wrote the lyrics by myself--
a crafty little song
you see a fairy tale in your mind
of children in the yard
it's crafted there within your mind
by something very hard.
i don't know how to tell you this
the truth it is so clear
the end is coming closer now--
it seems so very near.
i see a fairy tale in my mind
of life without my mother
i will live in the promised land
a truth--i know no other.
blue skies and fiery eyes
my world is filled with nothing but lies
they tell me i had a happy childhood
yet next to gravesides i often stood
a friend i've lost to foolishness
a grandfather i've lost to life
i've lost an uncle to cancer
and lost as a friend, his wife
a mentor i lost to greed and want
a sister i've lost to school
a mother i've lost to everything else
she acted like such a fool
the father i lost is still around
though i know by the way he acts
the day i leave i will be lost
to the sky and starry facts
i've lost so many people
in such a short time
as soon as someone new moves in
i expect them to sublime
i fear in this life i will be lost
to loneliness and want
to emptiness and lack of trust
myself they love to taunt
why should i live my life this way
why should i live in fear
maybe i'll just end my life
the time it grows so near
she tells her husband the wonderful news
and warns him about the "terrible twos"
they share a kiss then off to bed
visions of mobiles dance in his head
a fairy tale romance for his little one
full of happiness under the sun
he'll have a grandchild and silvery hair
he'll finish his days in a rocking chair
he'll sip cold drinks on beaches in Spain
and sleep through eternity in a grassy plain
he'll live and die beside his wife
who carries inside her a new little life
these visions of happiness dance in his head
unknowing what she dreams beside him in bed
a troubled beginning for her little one
she'll live her childhood devoid of the sun
blissful memories will fall from her mind
she will soon forget to be kind
her hope will diminish to empty reflection
of a life with too little perfection
each smile will lessen until it withdraws
hidden away behind too many flaws
this mother of one and child of none
fears for the future of her little one.
when people look they do not see me
a mask is all they really see
a girl with everything she desires
a Ford Mustang with brand new tires
riding lessons each day of the week
my acting skills have reached their peak
i can no longer act the part
that's almost tearing me apart
every person has their limit
for me I've reached it this very minute
as i sit here typing on my new pc
i come to the conclusion that i am not me
at least not the me you know so well
a winning smile i try to sell
childhood memories are very few
though i search for answers anew
to the questions i ask each day that goes by
but "oh well" is your only reply
you tell me the stories of days gone by
my interest in them is all a lie
many a foe i've lost to life
i tell myself "hang on and fight"
but pessimism blocks the way
from this road I start to stray
down life's eternal road
where i'll end up, only God knows.
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