Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
okay. So should I feel more than I do for people I don't know? Should I feel all "oh no, that's too bad" and all that crap? Because I don't (how could you tell). I feel nothing and don't even want to hear about it. I just shut people off when these kinds of conversations start. Is that bad?!! I can't figure it out. I feel as though I could never feel sympathy for people who have that. Some people would call that too strange. Worse than strange. I don't know what I would call it, not envy or jealousy, just...i don't know.
okay so it's two days until my 17th birthday and I am so excited. I hope someone gives me flowers, and then I have to bring them to art so ***** finds out it's my b-day. He's being so nice to me. He waved to me when I was leaving the lot today. I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face for a whole two blocks. I'm really loving being away from school now. ***** wants me to tutor her in chemistry and i'm doing pretty good in my classes. I just got an "excellent job-A+" on my death penalty report with no errors whatsoever. Though it's just the first day back since Christmas break I'm not hating school, just wait though. I will by the end of the week.
Those people who go places in their mind after bad experiences - I know where they go. Those people who think no one will ever love them again because of who or what they've become - I know where they go, because I've been there. And I know why they go as well. It can not be explained by the living, only felt by the people who need to feel it, who need a hiding place. A place they will never get to in this lifetime. A place that is only in their minds, a place that does not exist.
Is nothing ever good enough for you? Can't you let me have just one moment of being in the spotlight. Oh my god what I wouldn't do to be Will Hunting. Everything about him I envied even though it was just a movie. He was smart, he had great friends, and someone who cared about him, someone who wanted him to feel okay and who understood. But I guess that's not possible in my case because I can't talk to anyone so therefore no one understands and that is what I need, what I crave. For someone to tell me they understood and that it'll be all right, they'll make it all right.
"We can never go back again, that much is curtain. The past is still too close to us. The things we have tried to forget and put behind us stir again, and that sense of fear, of furtive unrest, struggling at length to blind unreasoning panic - now mercifully stilled, thank God - might in some manner unforeseen become a living companion, as it had been before..."
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