Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
December 29, 2002 (7:06pm) So I started the ED PHP program, I stayed one week and 2.125 days. It was good, bad, and ugly. I gained trust, I lost trust, I ate and restricted. I sat silent and still, then I fought back with volume and tears, then I gathered my belongings and did what was best for me. Their decision in the end on how I could be comfortable coming back would be to work on my issues around being yelled at. What about the woman who found the need to yell at me because my best wasn't good enough. They wanted me to talk MORE than the best I could do...the BEST I CAN DO. So, I'm working for my mother for a while. She's so excited that she wants to fire her new employee and have me take her place, even though I won't answer phones. I told her not to get too attached to this idea of me being an employee. It's just to keep me occupied for a while while I figure out what's next. My parents are buying property, my sister and I got new laptops for christmas, I got surround sound for the new computer, dvd player for my birthday or so I'm told. I feel like everyone's angry with me for leaving program, like being in group for almost a year isn't a big deal, but it's all I think about. The time that I'm wasting.
walking in silence in top hat and tails barefeet create footprints in sand lonely but still, you're walking downhill without baggage cluched in each hand. you can pick up the stones and the seashells and the treasures you find on the way you stand tall and proud at a party for one rejected in every way.
December 6, 2002 (8:56pm) I'm in that phase, where all the beautiful people end up tatoo'd to the inside of my eyelids and everything I see there is everything I don't see reflected in the mirror. Or is it that if I look at something long enough I think I will start to see it, in darkened windows and that little hand held mirror I've had surgically attached to the palm of my hand? I should just be banned from seeing all television besides cartoons, from all photographs with people, from human contact. Life sucks. I'm gonna go eat something.
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