| Written by Diana, on 01-09-2003 00:20 |
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It's so much easier to be angry that my father's here, than to be sad that he's gone. I spent so long being sad, and then so long telling myself I didn't care. And now I can't help but cry again. It's awful, and I feel like I stay angry just so it's not so hard every time he leaves. He's the only one I can talk to about computers which are work and play for me, and he's the only one who doesn't pry, who lets me be. And if you have a family like mine, you understand how precious that is. I want to cut, and use, and waste away. I want to hide, because I can't stop crying, and because if it wasn't for a few realistic thoughts left in my head I'd swear to you that everyone was talking about me behind my back, even people I don't know. Luckily I have so much work to do I only have a little bit of time to sit and agonize over this crap. Hopefully soon I won't even have that much time.
Last update: 01-09-2003 00:20
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