Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
27 minutes angered, pressing, hollowed out silence.
29. I'm really not worth shit am I? I was just being dramatic before to get my point across but now...I'm not so sure.
31. Screw the "lunch" I planned to eat, I just don't care anymore.
33. Fuck it all, life...didn't seem that promising anyhow.
38. "Just one more minute please." Sure, take your time.
39. I'm fine. Really.
40. I enjoy this idle time.
41. Gives me time to think, to ponder life's inadequacies.
42. Life's...span.
43. Its usefulness.
44. Or lack thereof.
45 minutes lost to say goodbye.
46. To grieve.
47. They're probably standing back and laughing at my worthlessness.
48. My stupidity.
49 minutes of my time. They're testing me.
50. Trying to make me crack, lose control.
51. But worthlessness aside, there's really no place to hide.
(during a 6-month stay in partial at Las Encinals Hospital)
I am uniquely me
in more ways than anyone could ever be
I'm the one and only significant she
unlike any other individually
...
taking up much more space than is due,
the space saved for one and a half, maybe two
unworthy, unwanted, unloved, and untrue
full of unique thoughts, no wait just a few
undoubtedly sure of the limited care
due to the broken, bruised frame that she wears.
(during a 6-month stay in partial at Las Encinals Hospital)
fear is that barier holding me back
from reaching the things i regretfully lack
i'm calming yet angered
i'm tearless and free
from becoming the person i've wanted to be
it all sounds cliche to be blaming the past
but step back and look, things are not how you asked
you're a self-controlled thinker, a cutter, there's more
you're broken and worthless now living's a chore
so how do you break up a terrible past
and allow life's beautiful things to forever last?
(during a 6-month stay in partial at Las Encinals Hospital)
the empty inside me so vacuous seems
to suck out all feelings, emotions, and dreams
i pale to counter the colors of truth
the redness of anger and pain's hardened proof
the black of obscidion polished to glow
like the deadened emotions i used to know
for fear and sadness no colors show
they're more than emotions, they're all that i know
my mind is at rest when my worries subside
helping me free up the hurt that i hide
(during a 6-month stay in partial at Las Encinals Hospital)
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