Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
I've lost my trust in everyone.
I've begun
to lose my soul.
I have a hole
in my heart.
It tears me apart
to see you this way.
I've lost a day
to worry.
I'm in a hurry
to hate.
The way you stare so blankly aggravates
me.
You don't appear to see me
the way you used
to. I'm really not amused.
you've made me choose
between the two of you
and this you promised never to do.
I can look you in the eye no longer.
I feel so much stronger
but I've been hurt by more than you know.
I do not care to tell you though.
I've opened up to you only to be hurt along the way.
I feel the day
will come soon
when we will see the setting of the moon.
An I will sail in it's wake.
My heart I will not let you break.
You're so fake.
I will reject your kindness.
You've left me hopeless.
Lost and unfocused.
I turn away
As you do every day
And with the setting of the moon
The end will likely come soon.
Hurt and distracted
Never connected
Losing my strength
Talking at length
About such sorrows
I wish there were no tomorrow.
School's coming back
to me like a bat out of hell and I'm scared. I find my lack
of sleep to come
overwhelming.
my mind needs a break
from life...an eternal break.
I feel so fake
in this skin of mine.
there is no time
to prepare myself.
my health
is not well.
months ago I fell
down into the dark depths of hell
and I've been working my way back.
but this pack
I carry is far too heavy.
it gets more and more so with each step that I take.
you wish that friends I would make.
I am afraid.
I have an incurable disease in my head.
I feel deserted by my only link to life.
these lies I carry are like rocks in my shoes.
and I must choose
between agony or fear.
but I already hold them so dear
to my heart
that I cannot make a better start.
I'm stuck in this circle of my useless life. hope is beyond my reach.
as I fall. I live now listening to Satan preach.
misplacing reality,
accepting conformity--
my only sanity.
failing the mind
and hoping for death,
words you cannot find
and one last breath.
red ribbon scars repair the soul, all hope is lost to fear,
emotions you cannot conquer growing near.
caressing hate each and every day,
expressing your anger in every possible way.
medicated and distracted,
wrongs never corrected,
searching for courage, finding none,
losing friendships one by one.
gaining strength to start again this scarring way of life,
fetching a knife.
Remember me in my distress
and do not leave me helpless
comfort me in all my sorrow
i will be all right tomorrow
stand by me and hold me close
this is what i want the most
be with me through thick and thin
this is how i must begin
to repair my heart
so i can make a better start.
I need to get this shit outta my head.
One way or another I'll end up dead
if I don't get this shit outta my head.
I've lied to you...
this is true.
But nothing you could ever say
could stop me from feeling this way.
You try your very hardest, I know.
I'm so afraid that I'll have to live my life this way
that I resent myself for talking to you.
I'm scared of what I don't know.
You're hiding something from me and it shows.
I see it in your eyes and in your voice.
I see the way my words just sound like noise
to you.
I feel my heart breaking in two,
every time I say one word to you.
I feel as though I hate you.
I know this isn't true.
But you've hurt me so.
You've failed me and you know.
I'm scared and I'm scarred--both inside and out.
There is no doubt.
I must forge through life without a soul to lean on.
Alone and scared.
Feeling neglected and rejected.
Connected.
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