Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes.
anxiety here is taking flight
i try and try but I cannot fight
searing pain runs up my wrist
in healing does the knife assist
hunger pains day in, day out
starving myself throughout
but worry about me, do not
i should have told you, i just forgot
perfection i have always sought.
rejecting your kindness, everyone
feeling anger, hating one
always always trusting no one
alone in life, alone in death
come witness my one last breath.
I lost a part of myself today
It was a piece of my heart
This piece was small but through it all
I was really torn apart.
I watch the others dance around
with hearts so strong and bold
I wish that I could be that way
But I cannot be, I'm told.
I'm also told I have no trust
In compliments they give
I do not trust that they are true
and in hiding I live.
I trust the lies that I think up
Great lies about the world
They're simple lies, nothing much
But I'll live them 'til I'm old.
Today I felt so happy
As happy as a happy child
I wanted just to laugh with friends
A laugh so loud and wild.
To run and play with no regard
Was what I wanted most
To eat a pie and watch birds fly
And make cinnamon and sugar toast.
I wanted just to be a kid
who thought of fun and games
who played with dolls and big red balls
and loved it all the same.
I wanted this with all my heart
A wish that never came
Sometimes I think I've lost my trust
And my child inside the same.
You were my knight in shining armor come to rescue me from hell.
Then one day I put my trust in you and to the ground it fell.
i needed you to lift me up from a bottomless pit,
but all you did was turn me down and on shards of glass I was made to sit.
I was left all alone to fend for myself,
I found someone like me up high on a shelf.
she pulled me up to meet her, where flowers grew year 'round,
but that was only temporary, I was thrown back to the ground.
without your voice to guide me, I wander towards my death,
I end up down and broken with deep cuts across my neck.
They bleed for days and days with no end in site,
All I've ever asked of you was to make me feel all right.
But that was just too much for you, you left me to the wolves.
I've lost all faith and trust in you to take me from the cold.
i have a secret
it's deep and it's dark
It's not one I share
with the strongest of heart.
I draw closer and closer
to death every day,
I weaken and weaken
wherever I stray
my life is so lonely
comfort i've lost
my heart is dying
from winter's frost.
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