| Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes. |
Words 2000 Words, December 2000 no understanding | no understanding |
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Sometimes I wonder if they really understand what we go through-the different tools we use to tear ourselves apart. I do it to keep my mind from racing. It races so far down into Hell and I just want to slit my wrists. Why do you do it? Sometimes I wonder if even my therapist understands. She had this perfect life. She can't relate to me. She's never cut herself just to make sure blood's still flowing through her veins. I can tell sometimes that she has no idea what I'm going through. My one friend told me yesterday that I should go on a road trip with my friends over my five week winter break. I couldn't bare to tell her that she is my only friend. I lied and told her my friends from college all live on the east coast. Whenever I tell my therapist how bad things get, I'm afraid I sound fake because to my ears I sound like I'm dramatizing the whole situation. I read other websites and some sound sincere and truthful and others sound needy--painfully begging for attention. I wonder how I sound to all of you. I try to convey my feelings to you all in such a way as to help you not feel so alone. But can you do this for me? I found a site the other day that knew exactly how I felt. It knew my pains and my worries. It makes me smile when I read it--a monumental event in itself. I want to commend its creator for his/her work. But I can't do that. It is part of my disorder. My eternal isolation. Last update: 28-11-2006 22:35
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