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September '00 - Second Edition |
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| Written by Diana, on 15-09-2000 23:00 |
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As an update on this "about me" section, I have decided to share my activities and personal struggles of the past few months...
First, I started cutting again, much to my t's dismay. I have moved into the dorms at ********** College, not far from my home. My sister is back in my life and my parents have taken my horse from me--a half lease--and I'm finding I have nothing left. My father whom I used to love dearly, has lost interest in my activities. My mother is being herself and my medication has stopped working. I have insomnia, major depression, anxiety disorder, and a case of a social phobia. Not to mention my cutting. And just as I seemed to be going nowhere with my therapist, she brings up my horse and, in one breath, all of the things and people I've lost in the past few years and I started crying. I couldn't help it. I wanted to tell her to put a sock in it but it was too late. She wouldn't let it be. Then she called me that evening at my dorm to see if I was okay (I was still in tears when I left) and told me she thought it was good that I was starting to "feel." I told her I was glad she felt that way--'cause I could have just as well done without it. She kept asking me all these questions I couldn't answer. I felt the whole session was a waste of my time, but she seemed to be happy with the progress. I can't get my meds increased until my appointment with my pdoc two weeks from now. I'm gonna die without them. I'm on the lowest dose possible right now and It's not doin' me any good. But oh well, I'll stop rambling. Maybe I'll write another poem. I hope you're all enjoying my poetry. I really get a kick out of writing it. It all means such a great deal to me and I hope they can help you in your struggle to overcome this disease called life.
Last update: 15-09-2000 23:00
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