| Written by Diana, on 12-09-2002 23:00 |
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September 12, 2002
OMG old guy's slurping is making me crazy. Can't he drink without slurping? Some people have absolutely no manners. Like they were raised by wolves or something. And this other guy's gulping. I swear, this...is my life. And I'm furious with all the people who tell me they'll be here tomorrow or the next day and don't show up, or holler and complain that they're not allowed to be late, like that's such a huge thing to ask. It's disrespectful of the other group members who get here on time, namely me. In three months I've never once been late to group. Leave five minutes earlier or shut the hell up!!! I want to e-mail this woman who was here a couple weeks ago but I'm afraid that just like the last person I e-mailed, she won't reply and I really want to keep that good memory I have of her. She treated me normal, stood up for me, trusted me. I feel so alone here. I just want to disappear. I feel so...large, in so many ways. I feel like I've been violated again. I don't mean to seem sensitive but I don't feel good, safe in this body. I want to cut so bad. My stomach feels weird. I'm really tired too, moreso than usual. I just want to run and hide. This room is much too...open, too many people up and about. I've crawled back in this corner, in my usual chair trying to blend in with the furnature. It hasn't worked just yet but I'm 'a keep at it. Poor 40 year old guy's back inpatient. I walked by and got a "Hey kid." Hey Mr. Mind of a 14 Year Old, how's it hangin'?
Last update: 12-09-2002 23:00
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