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a lot more screwed up than we thought |
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| Written by Diana, on 21-08-2002 22:16 |
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August 21, 2002-2 (9:16pm)
I get the sense that I'm a lot more screwed up than any of us had originally thought. I feel like I'm never gonna get outta here, I'll never be free of them. I've lost all hope. Though I have this sudden desire to run out and get the first job I'm able to get, no matter how degrading. Bagger at the grocery store, book shelver at the library, my mind's gone blank. I mean I want to run down tomorrow to apply. I want out. There's nothing I can do about living in this town but it's sure as hell up to me when I move out. For some reason I don't see my mother as my mother. I see her as this woman I'm stuck with for a while who interferes in my life. I can't see a future for myself like I used to. I used to be able to see into old age and nwo I can hardly see tomorrow. And I'll probably keep this to myself because if I share this with anyone I doubt I'll avoid a scene. I just wish this stage of my life were over so I could move forward. I hate my life. A future...just seems like and illusion.
Last update: 21-08-2002 22:16
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