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finding solace in dark cold closets |
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| Written by Diana, on 20-08-2002 00:26 |
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August 19, 2002 (11:26pm)
When being in your home is unbearable, when arguments become hourly and locking yourself in a dark, cold closet sounds...almost preferable, how do you get by? When your daily retreat turns hostile, what are you left with? It's hard finding hope in a hopeless environment. Disappearing...literally becomes your only hope, the aches and pains of starvation become nothing in comparison to your need for some control...ANY control. Even as you watch your reflection dim, your figure get lost within clothes two sizes to big and thinning, there's still control to be had, and you'll do anything to take it. What you've forgotten is that you have all the control you'll ever need by...living. You control your family's thoughts, actions, words by walking into a room. They hang on your every word, they walk on egg shells around you, but you don't see it. Back to your mirror you go, searching for...something. You never find it. But there you go again forever looking, straining to see a reason for all your pain, some order in a chaotic world. There's hope in causing pain, and you know that. And for the time being, that's enough for you.
Last update: 20-08-2002 00:26
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