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i've about hit my braking point |
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| Written by Diana, on 03-08-2002 20:22 |
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August 3, 2002-2 (7:22pm)
i've about hit my braking point. either i binge or i just fall apart. unfortunately, falling apart sounds more appealing to me right now. i want to order a pizza and breadsticks. but the consequences of that might be even greater than starving. i can't even walk past the kitchen where my parents are preparing dinner without my eyes filling with tears. this is ridiculous, i can't live like this. but how do i learn to eat without gaining loads of weight? that would be equally awful. i can't even think like this. i don't know how i'm gonna go to class on monday, not to mention the whole week and write my paper and pass the final. i can hardly watch cartoons much less get any work done. i'm gonna have to eat soon or i'm just gonna lose it. though it's just gonna be a cup of rice or something. i don't think i can do more than that and still hold it together. my whole body's begging me to eat but my mind has me convinced i should. this weekend's really gonna be a long one. i can't do anything but sit here pretending to be okay, all the while agonizing over when my next meal will be and what i'll have. i just want to sleep.
Last update: 03-08-2002 20:22
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