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it's all productive agony |
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| Written by Diana, on 01-08-2002 16:12 |
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August 1, 2002-2 (3:12pm)
although it may seem like it is, my purpose here is not to self-destruct. on the one hand no, i don't want to live my life like this but on the other hand, i really don't feel that bad today, this is definite imporovement from yesterday, which in and of itself wasn't all that bad either. everyone's worried about me, concerned. in comparison to their lives mine may look pretty awful, but in comparison to my own, i'm afraid i can't complain. things are bearable at the moment, i don't want to cut, and i'm not suicidal. granted i'm not eating but it's not because i feel bad, but if i eat i will. okay, diet pills occasionally backfire, laxies have you hunched over in pain, hunger keeps you drained, but it mostly passes, and you know it's all productive agony. you'll feel better in a little while, never fails. and soon you too will have your place in the sun.
Last update: 01-08-2002 16:12
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