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in protest against the things i've done |
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| Written by Diana, on 31-07-2002 13:42 |
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July 31, 2002 (12:42pm)
my heart feels heavy in my chest, like it's joined my stomach in protest against the things i've done to my body. war has broken out inside of me, body vs. mind. the way i feel right now, i'd say my body's winning out of sheer stubbornness. it has the will to live, i'll give it that much. writing in this non-elecrical, batery-free, 100% portable, cheap, disposable, paper journal seems...oddly archaic. the tap tap tapping tune i'm used to is replaced by lead pencils being drug across paper sheets forming words, phrases, entire thoughts, but it takes some time. i wonder if my thoughts would be the same if i let them come out faster, would they come out differently? or are thoughts, like events in one's life, destined to happen? how boring it would all be if that were so. what's the use in living if we're only reading scripts, playing parts? wouldn't it be best if we could write our own scenes as we go along? i'm tired, as you may well see but there're others here who find it oddly amusing to sit with me here, to come and go as they please, stripping away every ounce of creativity.
Last update: 31-07-2002 13:42
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