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for the sake of personal curiosity |
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| Written by Diana, on 27-07-2002 23:14 |
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July 27, 2002-2 (10:14pm)
okay for the sake of personal curiousity, i'm gonna chronicle my "disordered" eating: as I mentioned, I started bingeining freshman year. because my father wasn't home, no meals were made so i could eat whenever and whatever. i had far more than three meals a day and they were hardly "square." if i missed a meal it was accidental and rare. about the time i started cutting (may 2000), I became a vegetarian to start cutting out fat. i then became health-nut, then super health-nut, then i started easily restricting. by february 2001 i was hardly eating and by april i was starving myself completely. in the hospital i had three square meals at my disposal and the last week i was eating fairly "normal." upon discharge i began binge eating again. in december 2001 i found my desires to starve fading surprisingly, but form then on my mind-set returned to restricting and has been ever since. i started (easily) starving in the end of may and that's where i am today, without any desire to recover. it's the worst it's ever been (my mindset) including in april 2001. i wasn't eating then but it was also convenient not to. i could go a second without considering food unlike today in which it's all i ever think of. anyhow, with that done, i think i'll turn in for the night so that i don't start nibbling on grapes. besides, neither my hand nor my brain are fit for extensive writing at the moment. food depravation has my thought process and motor functions slightly scrambled
Last update: 27-07-2002 23:14
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