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they can't mock me if i'm not there |
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| Written by Diana, on 22-07-2003 01:00 |
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July 12, 2002 (7:22pm)
Partial for the better part of the year seems like a life sentence to me. I've been there a month almost to the day and I'm about ready to take off running. I don't even go to the cafeteria for lunch anymore because I can't seem to get in and out without at least two people giving me hell about my eating habits. The key word being "eating." If I'm going to the cafeteria at all it's for food but since they can't seem to keep their mouths shut when I go I've decided to hang out in the bungalows for the entire hour. They can't mock me if I'm not there. Besides, I'm never hungry for lunch these days. Maybe it's the confict that's getting to me in the morning group. The people taking their shots, the facilitator not letting me process. It's all I can do to put up with it five days a week, three groups a day. It's five hours of structure every day but if I get out of there still in one piece I'll about fall over dead. Sure I've got some major issues to work through but some days partial doesn't seem like much help. In fact half the time I feel worse, more hopeless when the day ends. I'm not sure where to draw the line but I'll keep with it as long as they tell me to. My pdoc seems to think I'm unable to make it without partial five days a week so as long as my insurance complies, I guess I'll do my best to hang in there. I've never enjoyed being happy for too long anyhow.
Last update: 22-07-2003 01:00
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