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it seems a bit selfish to me |
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| Written by Diana, on 04-03-2002 01:57 |
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March 4, 2002 (12:57am)
The few verbal thoughts I have these days are back to "I'm fine" and when asked what's wrong..."Nothing." Maybe I'm still trying really hard to convince myself of that. Or maybe saying it over and over will make it true. Do you think that's possible? I had another bad night last night. At 1:30am I called my friend on the other side of the country half in tears, hoping just the sound of his voice would calm me down. And it always does, but for the first time it didn't. I read this thing someone said today, I don't know why I liked it..."Sometimes the world is just too much. The only times I've ever not been this way was serious times of fasting or restriction when my brain would leave my body for some time. Maybe that's why we do it. Maybe it just stops the crying...inside or out."...I'll never know will I? I'll never know why things like this happen, why one person is chosen over another. Can you tell by looking at someone how they'll react to fear? Is it written on their face? Painted in their eyes? The way they walk or talk? How can they tell how I'll react when I don't know myself? Don't they know that their moment of power scars us for life? Is it really worth it to them? Do they know that we're fighting to stay alive? It seems a bit selfish to me.
Last update: 04-03-2002 01:57
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