| Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes. |
Words 2001 Words, April 2001 hospital ramblings | hospital ramblings |
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Ecstasy. Endless hunger. Endless pain. No time left to start again. All I want is something new rather than talking to endless few who no know not a thing about my life. I wish my sister wasn't coming today but I don't know how to tell her not to. Noel has visitors all the time and I dread having visitors. I hate it here. I always will. I'm afraid Noel will be leaving soon and all these tricks we're playing will be useless to me since I'm such a terrible liar. I want to go outside and take pictures until group but I want to tell Noel before I go and she's no where to be found. I feel so isolated here but I left when they were cleaning the room and found the old building I want a picture of. Let's just hope I can find it again. I'm actually getting used to sleeping all day on this hard hospital bed now that I have my fleece blanket with me. I don't know what I'm going to say to Lisa when she gets here. Hopefully I'll have finished my box and I can show it to her then. I'm bored so I'm going to call her and see where she is in buying her new car--a Jetta (hopefully). Yep, a 2001 Jetta, black with gray interior. I'm so excited for her and I can't wait to see it. Now we all have black cars--all the blonde cousins. Now I'm jealous. She better keep this car clean unlike she did with the other one. I'm so tired I just want to sleep for a while. Though I've slept all day. Oh well, another hour won't hurt. Then I can leave and take a few pictures and go straight to group. I can't wait to finish my box. It's going to be black inside and out with black tiles and black beads covering the top. It looked pretty cool friday when I assembled it all. Now I just have to paint the box and reassemble the tiles and beads. I want to get outta here. This lack of human contact is making me crazier than before. I'm now able to "lock" myself in my room and only leave for meals and meds and the occasional group. I hate visiting hours. So many people. They want a urine sample. Ick. I feel like this is all being done to me rather than to everyone. I'm still a little spacey and I can't decide if I want to go wander around and take pictures because it's perfect out right now or if I want to catch forty-five minutes more of sleep and then go take pictures for a half hour before group. No one is going to make me miss group today. I want to go so bad. Group this morning was boring and pointless and I sat on the floor with Noel and kathy was next to me in a chair. then the two of them got up and left and I was stuck on the floor alone with darby two chairs down and four other people I didn't know. I want to know where Noel went. I think I'm going to sleep for a little bit and then I'll go take pictures. I just don't have the strength to wander for an hour and ten minutes. Location: Las Encinas Hospital. Last update: 22-04-2001 15:29
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