| Written by Diana, on 16-05-2001 22:36 |
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I'm crying inside. Happiness is all around me. My sister just bought a new Jetta and she's very happy. My mother is taking classes next fall at CSUN and is really looking forward to it. It was also just mother's day and everyone expressed their love for her--except me. My father...my father. Well, then there's Brianna who's so looking forward to prom. I do worry about Noel though. I haven't worked up the nerve to call her just yet. Why hasn't she called me? Do I need to tell my trainer that I was in the hospital? I can't decide. I won't see her for a while though. I'm afraid--of waking up in the morning, of getting out of bed, taking a shower, allowing the clock to tick one more second. My every thought is consumed by my eating disorder. I HATE this. Why can't I just be happy being me. I find comfort in food, but it's also my enemy. I hate food like I hate the devil himself. I slept all day just to keep the day away. I want today to go away but I don't want tomorrow to come. What am I left with? To harm myself is to live and it looks like I'm going to be living for a while longer. Much to my dismay.
Last update: 16-05-2001 22:36
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