| Written by Diana, on 28-05-2007 20:00 |
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These days you can usually find me at Pogo.com in the Perfect Pair Solitaire 20s room "Watch Out for the Sea Monkeys." This game is a Club Pogo exclusive but if you click on that link you'll get 7 days and 10,000 tokens free (don't worry, i don't make anything on the deal, it's just their current promotion for May). I'm not really a fan of sitting around and playing games, but when there's a $4,999.00 jackpot at stake, and I can't get myself to do anything else, it's a suitable time killer. I tend to play that games from my favorites list (those games that I can tolerate) that have the highest jackpot. When someone wins that jackpot, I move on to the next highest game. It's not too exciting to play for $50.00. Well, it's not too exciting at all but at leqast I can pretend the odds aren't outrageous that I'll win the jackpot some day. Club Pogo members jackpots are doubled (up to $4999.00 max) so if the jackpot is $2499.50 we get $4999.00 if we win. Perfect Pair Solitaire, on top of being a pretty simple game, has very few players. It always has the second to least players (of those on my favorites), the least players can be found at Stellar Sweeper which is just like Minesweeper. I used to be REALLY FAST at Minesweeper but since I play mostly on a laptop, without a mouse, I've lost my speed and accuracy so it's not much fun. I know, I said it's not that exciting so I'll move on.
 My Pogo.com profile:
Age: 25
Sex: Female
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Occupation: IT Director/Web Designer
Relationship: Single & enjoying it while it lasts! ;-)
Favorite Saying: "The great art of life is sensation, to feel we exist, even in pain." Lord Byron
Favorite Music: Anything but Country. (Avril Lavigne, Everclear, Green Day, Ashlee Simpson, The Killers, Weezer, ...are at the top of the list.)
More about me: "Everything in the world displeases me: but, above all, my displeasure in everything displeases me." Friedrich Nietzsche
Favorite Pogo Game: Stellar Sweeper
Member Since: Apr 4, 2004
(and that's my current Pogo Mini above. I always wished I could have the edgy razor-cut highlighted blonde hair like that, and I love that look (but probably would never actually wear it), and when we were buying a condo 12 years ago we looked at one at the Santa Barbara Polo & Racquet Club but I guess the dues and everything were very exprensive. Besides, my dad's a golfer and we found one with a golf course in the complex. Too bad.
Every now and then my dad convinces me to play Cribbage with him. Every time we play he has to teach me again because it just doesn't stick. There are so many things to remember and he usually has to double check the rules so we guess at things. I guess I'm not so much into games where you have to THINK and there's a lot of that in Cribbage. There's no pretty colors or cool badges or money to win. Just a deck of cards and a few pegs stuck in a piece of wood. Thrilling. I get lucky usually and I've won a good number of times but it's usually just that, luck, because I really have no clue what I'm doing half the time. I feel bad when I win because my dad's only just taught me to play. He enjoys it more than me and when he sees a really unique board he sort of wants it. He wants a 3-player board but he'll never get my mother to play. She just doesn't do that. I feel REALLY BAD when I say I'm not in the mood to play but I have to be really bored or really in the mood to play just because my dad enjoys it. It's like Bridge. It just seems like an old person game. I don't know why since it's definitely not simple but I guess it's just not a very popular game, it kind of fizzled out with the older generations. Different versions of SOLITAIRE seems to be the way to go these days. Everything's solitary.
For my father's retirement party (we celebrated yesterday -- a Mother's Day, [my mother's] Birthday, Father's Day, Retirement, Pregnancy, Wedding Party -- his last day was Thursday) I gave him a card with a picture of a bloodhound on the front, face sagging and droopy, and the inside said "If I missed you any more my face would fall off." I wrote "Happy Happy Happy Retirement! It's about time!" on the inside. It's been 12 years since he's lived at the house on a full time basis and it's weird having him here. Good weird but also a little overwheling, like I feel really bad when he's out there by himself even though I'm sure he likes time alone just like anyone would want time alone, and when he has to do things by himself that are physically exhausting or just miserable (like hanging Christmas lights in the freezing cold and/or rain). I have an awful time being there as much as I'd like to, like sitting in the garage with him while he fools around with his woodworking, thinking I'd like to make something with him but at the same time it's like forcing myself to do something that gives me the "doom" feeling. Every second is agony and I have to just live with it because my thought is that it's not that i'm bored or that I don't want to do it, it's that I'm depressed and I'm forcing myself to do it regardless of the overwhelming gloom in my head. Fake it 'til you make it...even though I hate that saying. I feel like maybe if I force myself I will end up having a good time but if I don't force myself then I'll just forever feel bad tht I didn't do whatever activity with him. Wood working isn't "great fun" to me. I HATE the noise and the dirt and the repetitiveness and the lack of room for creativity and spontenaity, but I like making things, and I like having this finished product that is actually functional and I like doing things with my dad. My head just doesn't allow me to enjoy it most of the time. It's one of those things I KNOW is the depression. Sometimes I can't tell but in this I can. I think I don't feel like I know him very well and that's why I question what he's thinking, whether I would hurt his feelings if I didn't feel like doing whatever activity. I know he doesn't really understand my depression and I wouldn't try to explain but I wish he just knew that I really want to do stuff with him, ANYTHING, but my head's not allowing it. Like someone stronger than me, my siamese twin who's filling my half of our body with toxins that make me feel like I have cancer, just at the time I'm trying to enjoy something.
And after forcing myself to play Cribbage and sit in a room other than my bedroom for several hours and be involved in something, I'm just mentally and physically exhausted. I have to work tomorrow too, I could really use a fourth day in this weekend even though we closed at 1:00pm on Friday which meant less than two hours of work for me. My sister's been pissy, unnecessarily brutal, for a few days and if she comes in tomorrow with less than a smile on her heavily made up face, I just might collapse. I'm tired of defending people. I'm tired of HAVING to defend people that my mother and sister constantly bag on. It's just not necessary to talk about people like that. It's fine with me if you were offended by something that was said to you but if you just don't like something about someone, keep it to yourself (or your journal). The level of sophistication really needs a boost. I forget where that saying was, maybe in an office at my old job or a doctor's waiting room, or someone's house, but it goes something like this: "Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people." That was Eleanore Roosevelt. I had to do some research to find that out but I knew it was a former first lady.
Last update: 25-06-2007 22:02
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