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i've been trying to "think about things" |
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| Written by Diana, on 01-01-2006 05:58 |
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I've been trying to "think about things" and not push it away. Frankly it makes me feel like taking a knife to my wrists and I keep looking up a my "how I stayed alive when my brain was trying to kill me" book and wondering how long I should wait before pulling it down. it's 5am though so I should just sleep, my eyes are killing me from trying to stay on the computer. I want to go on a liquid diet but my "hopelessness" isn't bearable when I haven't eaten. constantly shoving things in my mouth tends to get me through a couple days at least. I ordered a cute coat from Nordstrom.com but the smallest size they had was a size 8 (not even petite) but hopefully I'll be able to combat the cold at work with it. it's purple tweed, lined, 3/4 length, hopefully very warm. It will go nicely with all my black. It's been so cold at work that I've had to leave early, no one really seems to care how cold I am, I was in tears on thursday because I was so cold, I was crying on my drive home. On friday I only worked half day because even with my big fluffy hooded sweatshirt I was cold down to my bones. I've had a headache all evening for some reason. Well I guess I'll pull out my "how I stayed alive..." book and get into bed. My dad will be waking up soon and he has this thing about me being up late.
Last update: 01-01-2006 05:58
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