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a lot to say

Written by Diana, on 26-10-2005 03:11 Views 88     Favoured None All right, here's that picture . You can't really appreciate it unless you've either been there or you've read my stories (or heard them). I feel like shit. I spent the early evening downloading MK&A pictures online, TONS of pictures I didn't already have (770 so far). I stopped at a point where MK is like 80lbs. I got up and looked in the mirror and just about gasped in horror. Not that I weigh soo much more but I weigh more than 80lbs that's for sure. 755 today. I really need to either leave my caffeine pills at work or get rid of them entirely (or find some kind of willpower) because when I feel fat I take several of them on an almost empty stomach and that just gets my mind clear enough to THINK, which I should really not do. My sister emailed me a personality quiz so I took it & sent her my results. She replied back and asked how things were and to email or call or something & I just about started crying. I wish we could hang out like we used to but we're very different now. She spends every day with my mother, they work together/alone. She's very cheery and seems uncomfortable to appear otherwise, or maybe just if I appear otherwise. Maybe before we just never had terribly different things to be upset about. We used to stand up for each other on occasion, and complain to each other about our current situation, whatever that happened to be. Now we don't have anything to band together on, except for that rare "family dinner" where our parents are embarassing us or something. Anyhow, last weekend I dreamt that my car was stolen, that I bought a pet tiger for $134, and that I didn't get a raise. We find out Monday 10/31. I've worked my ass off this year, that's all I'm saying. They're not exactly known for their generosity or fairness. Worrying is my forte`. I got an iPod Nano for about $75. I haven't received it yet and I don't know when I will but it's "Confirmed, to be shipped" a/o today. We'll see what happens. I also got Adobe Creative Suite Premium (1st edition) for a hundred something dollars, I forget. It's like an OEM knock-off or something. They "claim" to be legal but whatever. Creative Suite 2 (Premium) off the Adobe.com site runs around $1200 which fine, it has like eight licensed Adobe products, but I'm not even willing to purchase one Adobe product. Acrobat 7.0 Professional alone costs $450 for a single license. After hearing (rumors?) that MK is leaving NYU for a [smaller] arts college here in L.A., I almost don't feel so bad leaving college for "health reasons." Almost. I was reading minutes that I had written for a class I took in that fall at occidental. It totally doesn't sound like me, I hardly even remember writing it. I don't know how I got so much out...so much that actually made any sense. I can hardly focus these days unless it's on an equation or a script I'm writing or something, or something totally repetitive. Even though I still feel like a jittery mess, I should go to bed soon. I have to work tomorrow and ... I feel bad things looming ~ or something. I would totally eat something right now if I didn't have to then, you know, digest it. Last update: 26-10-2005 03:11 Published in : Words, 2005, October Quote this article in website Favored (0) Save this to del.icio.us Users' Comments (0) Add your comment

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