| Written by Diana, on 09-07-2001 03:40 |
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If you strongly believe in God and are not open to hearing an Atheist's point of view, then please do not read this entry because I don't want anyone preaching to me. I am very openly atheist. If someone some day were able to convince the that there is a god, then so be it. But right now, with all of the physics, chemistry and biology that I have studied, it makes it all but impossible to believe that there is some "higher" force out there causing miracles and watching over us. And don't preach to me because that's just about the only thing I will not put up with. When I was in the hospital I talked to a girl who believed strongly in god and religion.
We went on a walk and through the whole walk she continued to tell me all the reasons I should believe in God and all the reasons I should always love my parents. I put it out there that someone who has been abused by their parents (physically, sexually, emotionally, etc.) would almost be crazy to continue loving them. It's like a woman who is beaten by her husband should leave him, not continue to go back to being beaten. I was told by this person that I should love my parents no matter what they did to me. This was all said in the first week I was in the hospital and I had not yet talked to anyone outside the hospital in just over a week. I thought the idea was so ludicrous that I thought I was going to throw up. How someone could come to believe that baffles me. Maybe she believed that because she had never been hurt by her parents. I have no other explanation for it. All I have is science to back me up. But that's a lot more than this girl had. All she had was the beliefs of others. To me that's not good enough. Science can be proved, others' words cannot. I've been told that believing in god could help me through the hard times. I guess I'm looking for actual reasons to forget rather than things that you have to just believe are there. I believe that you have to find a reason and then come to terms with it in order to forgive. I can't just believe that it was my fate and it was god's way. I mean come on. It was god's way to have me suffer with this agony called depression? It was god's way for me to go several weeks without eating and then to cut myself over and over when I do finally eat?! Well fuck god's way. That thing you call god's way had ruined my life. Forever.
Last update: 04-12-2006 08:17
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