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...at wich point the excited happy feeling faded quickly |
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| Written by Diana, on 29-08-2005 00:50 |
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I'm really depressed. I thought I'd share that with you. I don't know if I'm depressed or just "down" but it feels like depressed. Like what the hell's the point of waking up in the moring? I know if I eat more I won't have this constant "doom" feeling but if I eat more, I will have this "I'm so f***ing ugly, why would anyone want to look at me" feeling. Even if my figure doesn't warrent it. I felt a bit of excited happiness today, about 20-30 minutes after taking a caffeine pill. I went food shopping, came home and did some work, ate and worked, washed my car, worked and ate (at which point the excited happy feeling faded quickly). I then cleaned my lizard's cage, ate a zone bar, cleaned & vacuumed, cleaned my fishes tank, did my laundry, cleaned & got ready for bed. The hole time feeling pretty hopeless for tomorrow. Now it's an hour past my bed time, I still have to redo my black nail polish, and make it through until I fall asleep. Doesn't sound that difficult but the next half-hour seems like life or death to me. I think I need to take off time from work, not just a weekend but like a week, or a five-day weekend or something. Of course I have to wait until our co-worker comes back from maternity leave. I feel like a few weeks in the hospital would help tremendously but that's obviously not an option. Oh well.
Last update: 29-08-2005 00:50
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