| Written by Diana, on 27-07-2005 03:48 |
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For some reason I can't make myself go to bed. My co-worker went home early today and then called in this evening and said she wouldn't be in wednesday or thursday and she had already requested friday off. I'm feeling more than a little resentful about it. It means doing my work and hers for three days. Fine. But don't talk to me until Monday unless you want your head bitten off. I don't want help doing her job because it just complicates the process and my head's doing too many things to worry about what this other person is doing and where the jobs are between the two of us. I was supposed to get 8hrs of sleep tonight so I could get through tomorrow. I'm depressed about my body. The size, just certain places really. My upper legs, upper arms, and stomach. I keep saying I'll go to bed once I've exercised off this fat, like it will go away in an hour of sit-ups or weight lifting or leg lifts. I keep looking, expecting to see less than I did 20 sit-ups ago. Last night I thought Midol: caffeine + that stuff that makes you lose water weight. I can take 2 Midol and it feels like 1 caffeine pill, so 4 Midol will feel like 2 caffeine pills? It seemed logical, though I ended up in an extremely unpleasant state pretty unable to stand upright. I've been out of protein bars and I don't know what to do about it, I'm panicking about it. Yesterday I only had one and today I don't have any and I have to drive totally out of my way to get more. I was just going to have rice cakes but since I didn't get to sleep by 1am, I'm gonna need more than that to get through tomorrow. Three Kudos is less calories but more fat and less food all together. They're not even good. I feel like I'm eating a candy bar and it does not feel good. I wish I had an apple or something. At least then my stomach would hurt too much to want to eat and then there wouldn't be so much fuss over what, when and how much.
Last update: 27-07-2005 03:48
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