| Written by Diana, on 19-12-2004 03:37 |
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I'm absolutely agonizing over the [hopefully unrealistic] notion that my thighs and stomach have expanded incredibly over the past 24 hours. Why can't I just waste away and die while it's relatively simple? I hate all this worry over size and weight and ultimate quest for recovery. I saw, a couple days ago, the unpleasant way that I appeared in the mirror, I see something unpleasant today but this time the opposite "fat" comes to mind. My view changes so rapidly I dread walking to the mirror to dress, to check my make-up, my hair. The size and existence of my body below never ceases to make my worth disappear. I'm so tired of this, I wish I could just die of the complications that follow starvation and be done with it. And never again have to worry about being too much or about accepting defeat and searching for recovery. It would be so much simpler.
Last update: 19-12-2004 03:37
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