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a three night stand, and the cat lady |
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| Written by Diana, on 26-09-2004 23:00 |
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I met this guy, the same guy I've mentioned on and off through the years, he asked me out in 2001 and we've been trying to talk to each other ever since. I gave him my number last Monday and he called me straight away. Of course I was at work so I couldn't answer it but he called me again that evening and we talked for three hours. My parents were going out of town and the physical aspect seemed so important to him that I told him we could hang out (or make out rather) Thursday morning before we both had to work. Granted this whole hang out and make out thing isn't something I've ever done. But isn't this a "normal" thing to do? He called me Tuesday at work to tell me how "special" our three hour "conversation" was, though it wasn't filled with much conversational chit chat. He then called me while I was leaving work that evening so I had him call me later. We talked more about getting together Thursday, or he did and what he wanted to "do." The next morning I was driving to work and my phone rang. I couldn't get to it in time so I checked the message. It was him saying his work schedule had changed and could we get together that evening rather than Thursday evening. I called him back and tried to find a reason for him not to come because I still had a lot of things to tell him, but it was useless. He came over and we fooled around and he seemed to really enjoy himself...Isn't it human nature to want this? He spent a lot of time telling me things I wasn't interested in hearing, or even paying attention to (you're so sexy, your so beautiful, i'm so lucky to have you, blah blah blah). I told him the stuff about my past that I thought he needed to hear and he thought he'd console me by getting more physical...He left late and I went to bed around 2:00am feeling rather...confused about the whole evening. We still had our plans to hang out Thursday morning so I had to get up at 5:30am and shower and ready for work before he got there at 7:00am. It was the same old stuff, he wanted to stay while I curled my hair which was odd. Then he left, me still a little confused but what's new? He wanted to come over that evening. I saw my therapist and told her I had done everything she warned me not to and how I was feeling about the whole thing. There were tears, lots of them, and I'm finding new respect for a future as "the cat lady." Guys suck, and this one especially was a jerk. He was immature and didn't understand the first thing about what I wanted, or else didn't care. I went home and he was going to call before he came up so I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. He asked if I had taken my pills that day and after some other insulting remarks I hung up on him. Maybe I could just live vicariously through my friends' relationships and marriages and live happily alone with my cat. There's so much I didn't get to do last week because this guy was calling and NEEDING me to be here instead of there, and this way instead of that. My days seemed so empty when I went to work, talked to him, and went back to work. I couldn't do my exercises, write, read, listen to music, or go out and do the things I wanted to do. I guess I won't write off a relationship permanently, but for now I'm definitely puting it out of my mind.
Last update: 26-09-2004 23:00
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