| Written by Diana, on 06-04-2003 12:30 |
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I'm going on a plane next Friday. Alone. And I'm starting to panic. Not because I'm flying alone or because I've got a layover, alone, or because I'll have to find baggage claim when I get there, alone. I'm panicked because my mother wants to go with me to check my baggage and then come with me to security, where she'll have to leave me. I'm panicked because everything feels okay except she can't just say goodbye, she gets teary. Unfortunately it's contageous. And it's not even that I'll be sad, I'm just going for two days, and I'm confident that it'll go okay. But she'll get teary, and I'll get teary, and I'll spend the next two hours taking deep breaths and making jokes to myself in my head to try to make it go away. And it'll all be for nothing. I don't want her to come in with me, or walk with me to security. I just want to go alone, do it all alone, it would be so much easier. Everyone wants to talk about it, make sure...they tell me every possible encounter. Meanwhile I'm getting more panicky because I'm thinking about it. I wish they would just let it happen, leave me alone. I'm sleeping more and hiding in my room all day just to avoid them. I hate this, I won't make it if they keep at it.
Last update: 06-04-2003 12:30
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