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tears may come and tears may go |
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| Written by Diana, on 16-07-2001 09:15 |
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I have felt this close to crying for the past week and no matter what I do I can't get it to go away. In fact, the more I try to make it go away, the more I feel it. I haven't slept since yesterday and besides the feeling that sleep may hit me like a bat across the head, the only negative thing I feel right now is that feeling that I'm going to cry. I wish I could tell Noel this. Maybe she'd be able to say something that will bring back some confidence that everything is going to be okay. I feel like I need to be convinced of that right now. I haven't felt that way since before I started going to therapy. I used to feel it 28hours a day, 8 days a week. Then all of a sudden it went away when I started therapy. Now it's back and I don't know what to do about it. I could write but I used to write several pages a day and it never helped. So I have a feeling it isn't going to help this time either. And a broken rib on top of all that keeps me from laughing, or doing anything that requires the use of my stomach muscles, voluntarily or otherwise. I'm in the middle of writing a new webPAGE (as opposed to a webSITE) and I'm excited in a way yet devastated in another because it is to help "get the word out" that I have a horse for sale. Some days I want to sell him and get it over with and others I can't imagine living without him. I'm already starting to panic. Now I think I know what my friend felt when she had to stop coming to the stables when her horse was for sale. She had to go on anti-depressants whereas I'm already on anti-depressants (among other things) and can only see a disaster fast approaching. I'm stalling. I still have to work on my webpage I mentioned earlier.
Last update: 04-12-2006 08:07
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