| Written by Diana, on 26-06-2002 17:14 |
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Partial...I had a bad enough night last night I didn't need today. Processing was quick and mildly painful but I got through it. At the end there was conflict, major conflict and it was beyond unnecessary. Everyday there's conflict and it's always uncalled for, harsh. At the first break I asked the facilitator if I should talk to the cognitive coordinator about her comments, singling me out the other day and she said I should and that she'd mention it to her just so she was aware that I wanted to talk to her. Lunch was long. My therapist came by and rescheduled my appointment for tomorrow just to an hour earlier and then she commented on the little bit of food I was eating as always. After she walked away to get lunch this guy from group (the one causing all the conflict) asked if she was my mother and when I said no she's my therapist (and she would have had me when she was 14) he kind of...gasped like "I wish she was my therapist" (he's 40) and then a couple minutes later he leaned over (from the table behind me) and asked if she was my grandmother...ha ha shut up. Anyhow, I went to cognitive where I said I had a really bad night and didn't want to do "the bubble" today and she pushed some more and when no one went I offered, "just so I'd be off the hook for a while" but ended up not doing it for lack of time and this woman wanted applause for doing the bubble but she only did it because I said I would. Then I discussed with the coordinator my concerns about how Monday's group was handled and she was a little defensive but over all nice about it I guess. In the final group we had "community group" today instead of an instructional group and it was the most uncomfortable experience. I ended up curling up on a chair and trying to pretend I wasn't there. Everyone was bagging on this one girl who wasn't there and it was not right. The one guy who was causing all the conflict was just making things worse and I couldn't get myself to say anything even though I wanted to and everyone knew it. At the end, the main facilitator asked me if I had something I wanted to add because I looked really uncomfortable and the dual facilitator made some comment about me being all rolled up in a ball. I basically just said that I don't agree with everyone's arguments against this girl and I come to partial to get away from this exact conflic at home so I can work on my problems. It just makes for an uncomfortable atmosphere yada yada yada. When I left the main facilitator walked outside with me and said she'd like to help me with the issues I have with conflict and other things were said. I was so tired (and had a bad headache) so I drove home instead of picking up my meds as I have for the past three days. I've gotta pick them up at some point. I'm not completely out of my meds but I will be soon. I think having partial three days a week and therapy the other two is really wearing me out this week. Usually I have Tuesdays off and I get to rest. I guess there's always the weekend.
Last update: 26-06-2002 17:14
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