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partial, and sticking up for ana girl |
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| Written by Diana, on 22-06-2002 00:00 |
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Today was a quite...eventful day in partial. I even slightly wish I was going tomorrow as well, though seen as tomorrow's Saturday, there is no partial only my re-scheduled appointment with my therapist. What happened was this: ana girl was getting bombarded by two people today when she processed. One saying she was being selfish and another being "fatherly" not understanding why she couldn't "just eat." I wanted to stand up for her because they were being pretty harsh but that would have put me in the same place as her and in the same position to be yelled at as well so I held off. For some reason ana girl wasn't standing up for herself though. We took a break and when we came back, the one girl being most harsh processed because she had to leave then it was my turn. I gave a long pause and said that even though this one girl had left, I thought she was really harsh on ana girl, that I could relate to all they were saying because my parents have said it to me at one time or another in all the years I tried to convince them I had an eating disorder. I made the comment that when people told me to eat, it made me want to starve even more and ana girl jumped in and we went on for the rest of the group talking about all this, answering their MANY MANY questions and conversing with each other (about 30 minutes). No one else processed. In the beginning one guy who always makes fun of ana girl and me (and everyone else), made some crack because ana girl asked him to move to another seat so we could see each other (he was in the way). While I was in the cafeteria directly afterwards, he was incredibly kind, quiet, courteous, things he's never been. I needed a fork and he went and got it for me almost without me asking. Very seriously, the guy who was being "fatherly" said it was really nice to hear me talk today in group. That was very kind of him, I didn't know what to say. Shorty man came up to me after that group and said they were going out tonight and that I could come if I wanted and I didn't have to eat, much to my surprise. That was a huge point I made about not wanting to eat when people were telling me I had to and about having to be weighed and this being a hellish disorder...and all sorts of other stuff that they had criticised ana girl for and which she backed me up on. At the end ana girl got up and said "I just want to give you a hug" and ended up giving me two, tears streaming down her face because she could finally relate to someone I guess. She asked for my phone number which I gave her after lunch and she said she'd call me. She said she'd invite me over when she moves after July 3rd...I'm not sure us palling around outside Las Encinas is what I need though. When I walked to my car after partial, it was shorty man's last day and he said he would call me. He seems like a good friend to have, as long as that's all. After today EVERYONE's been talking to me. I even ate lunch with one woman who acts all high and mighty (she "appears" to be way too happy even for normal people) and gay pac man (he's gay and I first met him in ppac--lock up) and a girl who's inpatient I knew when I was there.
Last update: 29-09-2007 23:57
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