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no one said we had to like each other |
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| Written by Diana, on 07-06-2002 23:34 |
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I just came from dinner with my parents and sister. I have to say it was the most unsuccessful of our family gatherings. By unsuccessful I mean it failed to do it's part in bringing us together. I mean yes, technically it brought us together, physically we sat at a table together in a restaurant but...I don't feel like we're a family. When we go to the movies Sunday we won't feel like a family either. Aesthetically we are, but that's all. Concentrating more on my food and the fact that I have to eat it made being "in the moment" a little difficult. My father was told not to bring up the fact that I've lost six pounds since he last saw me...three weeks ago so he almost didn't say anything to me. My sister's so wrapped up in her own life to care about the family goings on that she might as well have stayed home. I think my mother's the only one who has free reign to explore any topic she chooses. It was her birthday anyhow, no one was gonna tell her otherwise. While pushing my rice around on the plate I glanced at my sister across the table looking at me with such contempt. It was almost as if she was saying "you're ruining dinner for all of us" so I took a bite. My mother seems to realize force-feeding me isn't the answer so she does the best she can to make my life and everyone else's a little easier. I basically ordered whatever she wanted to have for lunch tomorrow. I think my sister compensates for me being the "identified patient" by being loud and obnoxious. She definitely had our attention this evening. She always has to be somewhere other than home. Home being here or at her apartment. She is incapable of sitting silently for any period of time. My parents and I could just sit and stare ourselves into eternity but she always has to be moving. Sunday was supposed to be just my sister and I, something we never do anymore, but she went and invited my parents as well. I don't think she could be more distant to me. Now I only see her on holidays even though she lives ten minutes away. It's pathetic but true. I was feeling really good this week but now...I want to take back tonight. I want to erase it and never have to do this again. I just want to go to sleep and forget it ever happened.
Last update: 07-06-2002 23:34
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