| Written by Diana, on 18-07-2001 15:50 |
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Even less than answering the phone--I NEVER answer the door. If they live here (my parents, sister, or often times my cousin or her b-friend) they always always know to hit the door bell more than once. That's how we know to answer the door. Otherwise my sister and I don't open the door. We don't really feel like dealing with it. It's a rarity anyways to have strangers come up our street. We don't get many people up this little street of ours. When we do get people, we always know they're coming because any car up our street is very easily distinguished as visitor or resident. There's only four houses on the street and it's a very short street. I have to go fill my prescriptions today--nine of them. Ugh. My mother gave me a weird look when I put them all on the counter at the pharmacy. I told her I had nine prescriptions but I guess it didn't really hit her until she saw them with her own eyes. Yes, nine prescriptions, and I only have a small Idea of what they're all for. I started to put together a journal of my meds but I got stuck somewhere along the way. And I never began again. I want a log simply to remember. My mind is no longer trustworthy to remember these sorts of things, and I must write it all down. Because if I don't, I may forget. I don't want to forget. I've forgotten too many things already. I don't want to forget anymore. I feel like I've lost a part of myself. A part that I will never get back. Why is that so? I broke a promise to myself and told my secret. I told too many people and I can never take it back. and then my new secret...I still have some control over it. They still only know for sure the things I tell them...which isn't much. I don't think I will be dropped for continuing this. And it can get me back in the hospital. I know how that sounds. I do. But I don't care. Not anymore. I don't seem to care about anything anymore. It's just a waste of my time to care these days. I know I'll be disappointed anyhow, and if I don't care, I can't be disappointed, can I. That WASN'T a question.
Last update: 04-12-2006 08:02
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