| Written by Diana, on 09-05-2002 09:57 |
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I can't believe my sister. When she needs an ally against my parents I'm there, usually in agreement but when I need an ally, she takes their side. I just sent her a mildly frantic e-mail regarding mother's day and I just have this awful feeling she'll take their side and I'll be screwed. Once again. And because my mother has free reign over the day, when I don't comply she's gonna freak and my sister will go off to her little apartment and I'll be left to clean up the mess. What's this all worth uh? The one good thing in my life I can't have. And the two things that make me feel better I have to give up. **silent town** okay so that sucked. It's been months though so it's something at least. I'm about ready to scream so I needed some sorta fix...even if only a small one. The food thing's not going well. I'm eating but the thoughts running through my head are unbelievable. I need this, I need to be well. I'm afraid of what I'll lose if I'm not. panic officially set in at approximately 8:30 this morning. Like all of a sudden I began thinking "HOLY SHIT" too much time spent alone again I guess. I just discovered gold...Mountain Dew Code Red...!!!! I can tolerate original flavored MD for it's so called high caffeine content but this...this. This actually tastes good! Next time I'm at the market I'm definitely chucking the coke and opting for the Mountain Dew. Liquid candy, here I come! **darkness unimagined** ...shall I explain? I have this fear it won't be taken the way it means, but rather taken as nonsense. Okay..all I'm saying, fairly literally, is that if "darkness" (whatever you choose for that to symbolize) if real, not imagined, then there is more to it than just...darkness. For me "darkness" can be a number of things...morbid curiosity, depression, fear, hatred, etc. I think I could go on for as long as there are words to describe. I do not imagine my fear, therefore there is a reason for it, as well as for my hatred, depression, everything. Anyhow, I do believe poems should be seen through the reader's eyes, not the author's so I'll leave you with that. I actually like that one a lot I think.
Last update: 09-05-2002 09:57
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