| Updates: Media (lyrics) has a new layout. I could never figure out how to lay it out, but it's easier to navigate now. I'm still working on a better duplicate Mamblog mod. I'm trying to make submittions easier but the poetry form died for some reason. Quizzes are also on their way from the old site. Joomla content isn't very code friendly so I'm having to rewrite old code. You can still click on News > AH v21 > Screen if you wish to use the quizzes. |
| back to the hospital? |
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today...well, yesterday really, my t suggested that i go to the hospital for a week or so. i experienced this unbelievable amount of dread when i realized that was what she was getting at. then she said it and my stomach just dropped and my heart sunk. i think they'll have to drag me back if it ever gets that bad again. i'm not sure i'll ever go back willingly. it's not that it was that bad it's just that the nursing staff was so uncaring and there are too many memories I don't care to revisit. i probably should have gone back today just to get away from things. my mother came home today and i haven't seen her much less spoken to her. i've only left my room while she's gone and other than that i haven't left. I guess my plan is to get things done during the early morning hours and i'll sleep during the day when my mother's home. my father's out of town for two weeks so i don't have to worry about him. my t didn't have any cleaver antidotes for me today. she just basically kept saying she was sorry and that if she had a daughter she hoped she wouldn't do the same thing...but she couldn't be sure. i guess it was good to finally tell someone but i sort of left feeling empty like now i'm sure there's nothing i can do to mend this situation. she kept saying that now i have a decision to make. but what seemed to be implied is not an option for me. to start to understand why they did this. i will never forgive. i used to spend all of my time online fiddling with my website and always searching for ways to make it better, trying to learn new things. now all i'm doing is trying to do all i can to make sure my parents will never access it again. i can think of nothing else to spend my time doing. current mood: numb Last update: 05-10-2001 03:51
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