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my boy's gone, maybe forever |
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| Written by Diana, on 30-11-2001 02:23 |
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You know, I really hope that in the future no one wishes to be a partner with me in anything. I must stress the eGroup factor here. Two people now have done the same thing to me...one of course a little more extreme than the other but what's the difference? Am I just asking for it or what?? Maybe I'm just too nice and they're all taking advantage of that. Or am I mean and deserving? now my mother's being crabby to me because again as usual, my father left this afternoon--sunday. something he doesn't normally do, which i of course didn't know about. I woke up at 2pm and found everyone gone...but where were they? No one tells me anything. and ooh lucky me, that means my mother won't be in S.B. next week and I'll be stuck here with her. I hate my sister for moving out. my third birthday in a row where i'd rather be dead than celebrate. and again, the monumental 20 and i'm hating it. 18 was the worst ever, 19 didn't suck (for once in my life) but it was extremely uncomfortable and my 20th will be close to my 18th in every way i'm sure. I'm anticipating a hospital stay some time next semester...though i'm also dreading it more than ever. i have no clue how i plan to stay out of that place...denial? I mean it's my decision, i'm not THAT sick. Whatever, that'd be months away anyhow, no use in worrying over it today. i'm just so angry with my mother though right now, I asked her not to buy mashed potatoes at the store because i'd get sick of them if she did, but she bought them...as well as fish sticks which i Do plan on throwing out tomorrow provided I get out there before they take the trash. I'll have to wait if that doesn't work. I can't have throw them all away at once while my mother's in this mood. She'll explode for sure. I was doing so well until thanksgiving came when i broke my almost-three-day-fast. I'm so pissed off too because I've had mashed potatoes for dinner the past two days along with chips. Today I've had an apple and I plan to limit it to that and a soda or two to keep me awake since i've only been up for five hours give or take. I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight since there's so much i have to do but i'm not sure how much longer i can stay awake...i'm so tired.
Last update: 30-11-2001 02:23
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