| Written by Diana, on 08-12-2001 02:27 |
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I'm not sure I've ever felt so bad. Dammit I need my razors. Oh well, I'll find something else. I'm starving, but if I eat it'll be the end of me. Why do relationships have to be so damn difficult?? I just want one friendship that doesn't hurt so much. Just one person who likes me for me, someone who makes me feel good. Someone I can be around without worrying that they're laughing inside. Someone who's not going to run away just because I'm not perfect. I started to cut again tonight...but it's not enough this time. The effects of starvation just aren't fast enough, but I'm not eating. They can't make me. I'm going to be all alone this weekend, all alone for Christmas. My only sister's moving out on my birthday...again. Happy birthday. I told my mother too much today. That can't happen again. How can anything get worse? Unless I get a phone call tomorrow saying that they're buying my horse, and that I'll never get to say goodbye. Which I'm afraid could happen. I can't take that. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to. What else can I do to myself? How else can I show them that something's wrong, that I'm dying inside? Because what I'm doing now just isn't working.
Last update: 08-12-2001 02:27
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