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a court case and the perpetual people pleaser |
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| Written by Diana, on 31-12-2001 23:01 |
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the asshole at CompUSA says we need to talk to the police. i just want my computer, fixed or not. my mother's giving them 3 days to call back...3 days! that's an eternity. i'm never shopping at that store ever no matter what. both stores--Monrovia and Burbank--have lost my business forever. no one noticed how this is effecting me. i'm afraid something's going to happen to my computer (again) while it's in' their possession. all i wanted was a bigger hard drive and now, a court case! i want to just sleep and forget about all this. i can't deal with this when my appointment with Richard Preuit is thursday. I just want to curl up in my bed where it's safe and warm. my mother asked if i was going to transfer my files from zip to her computer. yeah...in her dreams. i'm just using my zip drive like an external hard drive. i've got 600mb drive space so i think i'll be able to use it like normal without my parents having the issue of privacy. i'd prefer to not use a computer at all if my only options were to give them access or not have a computer at all. I like looking at my shadow. oh what i wouldn't give to look like my shadow. tall and skinny. my parents said i could use the new computer while mine's gone but they're on like 24/7. i can barely check my mail much less get any work done. it's ridiculous. i wish my sister was back, then i wouldn't have to deal with all of this crap. i don't even know if she's celebrating new years or not. i want to take pictures, i want to draw, but with all that's on my mind, i'd never be able to do that kind of creative task. writing isn't even "creative," it's straight forward, to the point, factual. wow i just had the privilege of seeing my friend's wedding pics. awwwww now i want to get married. they were so cute and she looked so pretty in her dress. now i'm computerless, temporary-computerless, and i don't even feel like being n my room it's such a mess. there's a place for almost everything and everything is not in its place. what if "Rich" is young and cute? that's just gonna maximize my current issues. *sigh* I miss mark. i miss my privacy (at home). i mean when my sister left, i expected to have this side of the house to myself, but NO, my mother just HAD to choose my sister's room for the location of her new office. now she's spending all of her time there. now she's knocking on my door every so often asking for help. she wants to use my Corel but that means she'll need my book and CD which both reside in my room. i don't want her going through my things but i also don't want to leave them in the other room because they'll get lost or ruined for sure. i don't know, i've got too many things to worry about to even THINK about that now. wow i was so close to not eating a thing today. i'm totally bummed that i gave in. i had spaghetti and gold fish pretty much but it's more than i wanted. i've been doing my exercises but i fell like it's doing no good. of course it's only been about four days but four days is a lot to me. i refuse to weigh myself until i like how i LOOK. when i start to like how i look, knowing my weight will beat that right out of me, no doubt about that. god i can't wait until my mother starts going to S.B. again. First that will mean my b-day's over and second, it's gonna be awesome having the house to myself...COMPLETELY. good god i'm never going to get my computer back. you know my therapist, joking or no, told me that she came in just for me. i'd feel so much better if she hadn't said that. now i don't know if she meant it but now i feel bad, i don't want her coming in for me--that just makes me terribly uncomfortable. i feel like she's trying to make me feel bad by saying that. i don't she doesn't mean it but i can't help it. you know me--the perpetual people pleaser.
Last update: 31-12-2001 23:01
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