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test results are positive, i'm a failure... |
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| Written by Diana, on 04-01-2002 23:14 |
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...I'm thinking something I don't want to say for fear someone will actually read this entry. everything's...perfect. Everything's...just fine, they're fine. I feel like there's something on channel 4 that no one wants me to see. every time i turn it on, they change the channel before i can see what's on. or i'll say can i change the channel and they'll say "yeah just not 4"...Dammit i'm having a panic attack...my father just gave me some hauntingly bad news. he has no idea how bad. i'd be crying now if i wasn't afraid he'd be back. yes, afraid. the more he says, the more hope i lose. dammit. my therapist said i could call her...if it weren't friday night i would. am i just doomed to fail or something?? day by day i just feel more convinced of it. if i didn't have to answer to anyone i'd go cut, but i do and there's that look when i say i've cut...though things are almost bad enough to where that look is nothing compared to how i'm feeling.
Last update: 21-12-2006 02:45
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